In middle school, I started showing symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression.
Back then, these illnesses weren’t well-known, so my parents didn’t take me to a hospital.
Being an only child in a single-mother household, I’d turn off the gas valve, check the faucet over and over, lock the house, then open and close it repeatedly, rattling the door while time slipped away.
In college, before heading to my part-time job, I’d check the door and water valves so many times it took an hour to leave. I felt negative and ended up at the hospital, where I got a depression diagnosis.
Writing dark thoughts in diaries or blogs pushed my friends away. And yeah, it makes sense—dark words or hurtful things were all I could get out in those places.
But one best friend stuck by me. Minutes before my job, I called them crying.
They said, “It’s okay. You won’t die from leaving the lights or water on. If something’s up, don’t hesitate to tell me. Don’t hold back!”
“Don’t hold back” and “Tell me” were like a soothing anchor for my heart.
What looked weird to others was something I couldn’t control, and I struggled to talk to anyone. Those words let me finally relax.
I’ve caused trouble for that friend and others, but thanks to them, I’m on less medication, I’ve lost weight, and my mind’s getting sharper. Now, I want to thank all the friends who helped me.
When I was alone, having someone say, “You can talk to me, don’t hold back,” meant the world.
People with this illness aren’t trying to be self-centered or negative.
If those around them treat them with kind eyes, don’t let them hold things in, and help them let it out, maybe depression can heal before you know it.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.