In my 20s, I developed depression due to workplace bullying.
I was haunted by thoughts of “Why do I have to keep living?” Completely drained, I stayed in bed, pulling the covers over my head, with dark thoughts consuming me.
Your 20s are supposed to be when you shine—fashion, makeup, all that. But I felt true despair, not even understanding why I should “earn money = work.”
About a year into this, I heard an album by a band that blew me away. Back then, the internet wasn’t big, so I relied on music magazines. Desperate for more about this band, I left the house for the first time in nearly a year to visit a bookstore.
I wasn’t working due to depression, so I had no money. I lived with family, but they saw me as lazy and gave me nothing.
That band changed everything. I wanted their CDs and to go to their concerts, which meant I needed money!
Like my apathy was a lie, I started job hunting. I began with a part-time job, mostly with older women, and the vibe was different from my old workplace. The relationships there started to lighten my heart.
Recovery wasn’t instant. The deep questions I had didn’t go away, but working felt good, earning money felt good, and my family’s attitude toward me shifted. Home started feeling more comfortable.
Twenty years later, I have another mental illness, but I’m truly glad to be alive. Without that band, my life would’ve been over.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.