I have BPD (borderline personality disorder), and I was also hit with severe depression. I spent days in bed, barely able to drag myself to the bathroom—it was that painful.
That alone was bad, but I saw everything—sights, sounds, the whole world—through a deeply negative lens. I kept thinking, “I don’t belong anywhere. There’s no point in going on.” Every day was agonizing.
My doctor prescribed an antidepressant, “Reflex 15mg,” calling it “medicine to keep you going.” I took two pills before bed. The side effect was sleeping too much.
The first day, I slept for 24 hours. Scarier still, the second day, I slept for two full days. No bathroom, no water, no food.
I knew this was a problem, so I talked to my doctor. They switched me to “Andepre 25mg,” another antidepressant, two pills before bed.
Then came even worse side effects.
Daytime sleepiness was manageable, but one major BPD symptom, “aggression,” got way out of control.
I was hit with constant irritability and uncontrollable anger multiple times a day.
I took it out on my live-in boyfriend, unfairly lashing out. He couldn’t handle it, reaching a point of deep distress and even getting physically sick from the stress.
Seeing myself hurt someone so important to me made me feel so awful, I was overwhelmed with dark thoughts. I’m planning to talk to my doctor again soon.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.