About five or six years ago, when I was 30 and married for three years, I developed depression.
For some reason, I couldn’t stop wanting to die. Waking up in the morning feeling “I want to die” was incredibly painful.
That’s when I started going to the hospital. Along with taking medication, my doctor advised me to try doing nothing at all.
I realized you don’t die from not cleaning. Dust, dirt, or uncollected trash—it doesn’t kill you. I thought about it vaguely.
Not doing laundry or eating didn’t kill me either. Sure, I ate when I got hungry, but I stuck to simple things like instant meals.
After a while, doing nothing started to feel boring. I began craving a good meal. My family was supportive, saying, “It’s okay,” but I thought, “I should at least do my own laundry.” Instead of thinking “I have to,” I started thinking “Maybe I’ll do it.”
I used to always think “I have to” about everything. Before bed, I’d recite all the things I “had to” do the next day.
Thanks to the medication and letting go of that “I have to” mindset, I felt so much lighter. From there, bit by bit, my body started moving again, and my mind began to settle.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.