Years ago, I experienced a miscarriage that led to depression.
It was an early miscarriage at 11 weeks, but the shock was overwhelming.
For a while after that, I had disturbing dreams almost every night, often waking me up.
Most of these dreams were related to the miscarried fetus.
For example, I’d dream I was pregnant and suddenly giving birth, but the baby would be tiny, fitting in the palm of my hand—stillborn, covered in blood, or missing limbs. The births in these dreams were always painful and distressing.
Even while sleeping, it felt like my mind was in a state of hyperarousal. The dreams were so vivid, with colors so sharp, they felt too real to share with anyone.
During the day, those dreams haunted me, making it hard to focus at work and leaving me in a constant state of anxiety. It was exhausting.
Some time later, I became pregnant again, but for a while, I was consumed with fear of another miscarriage.
Thankfully, that pregnancy progressed smoothly, and I was able to give birth without major issues. Gradually, the bad dreams faded away.
When I held my newborn after delivery, I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
Even now, seven years later, I sometimes recall those dreams. But I’m so grateful for the three children I’ve had since then—they’re my strength and support.
I still carry the memory of the baby I lost, keeping them in my heart.
It was a truly painful experience, but now I focus on staying strong and growing as a person to protect and care for my children with a positive outlook.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.