Even in Depression, You Still Dream
For years, I’ve been waking up every hour or so at night, half-asleep, half-awake.
This has been going on from my 30s into my 50s now. I try not to worry my family—my wife, mother-in-law, and two kids.
Because of this, I’m drowsy during the day, feeling foggy and dozing off.
My psychiatrist prescribed a sleep aid called Tramin-san (I might not have the name exactly right), which probably made it worse.
In that state, I dreamed a lot.
Dreams Vary Greatly
People often assume that those with depression dream of being chased or attacked, given the nature of the illness. But for me, those kinds of dreams were rare. Instead, I often dreamed of strangers.
In these dreams, I’d chat with them as if we’d known each other forever. When I woke up, I’d wonder, “Who was that?” but I could never figure it out.
They seemed to resemble people from old workplaces, though. I don’t have any close friends in real life.
I’m terrible at talking to people and expressing myself. In short, I’m not good at relationships.
I think that’s what triggered my depression.
My fear of interacting with others and my admiration for those who can talk easily with anyone—maybe that’s why I had those dreams.
Wanting to Overcome My Weaknesses
Everyone has things they’re naturally bad at.
If those things don’t affect daily life or seem minor, they probably won’t lead to depression.
For me, the root of my depression is likely my struggle with relationships. It’s something that bothers me both in everyday life and on a personal level.
Lately, my depression has been getting a bit better.
Why? Because I started reaching out to people I’d met in the past.
I’m hoping to meet them soon, share my silly mistakes, and laugh about it. I think that might help me heal from this illness.
The dreams I have during depression feel like they’re carrying some kind of message, like they’re telling me, “Here’s what you should do.”
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.