When I was 25, I was told I had severe depression, took leave from work, and went back to my parents’ house. I never thought I’d get depressed and felt like a burden to my family.
Every day, I was stuck in a dark place, feeling scared and hopeless. Each day dragged on but also felt fleeting.
Instead of resting, I think I was getting worse. I was so lethargic I didn’t touch my phone for a while. When I finally picked it up, my family thought I was recovering, but I was just looking for ways to escape my pain.
I was on a few medications, but my memory from that time is fuzzy. My boss at the company I worked for suggested coming back to work, thinking changing my environment might help.
Looking back, I’m really grateful for that.
After returning to work, a senior colleague I admired told me, “Just being alive is a win.” They said staying alive means good things can happen. Someone out there might’ve wanted to keep going but couldn’t, while I was struggling through that day.
That made me start looking forward. Others had tried to cheer me up, but it didn’t sink in. I guess it was all about timing.
Since then, I stopped feeling hopeless or like I wanted to disappear. I began to understand what my doctor had been saying.
Those thoughts were the depression, a mental and brain illness. Being alive let me experience that depression.
Now, I find happiness in small things. Waking up early, enjoying a good meal. Even on days I do nothing, just being alive feels like a win.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.