I have an older sister with a mental disability.
She’s been in and out of hospitals since her teens, repeatedly admitted to her regular facility.
The heavy burden of parental caregiving and looking after my sister weighed on me since childhood.
I also struggled with unstable jobs, bouncing between employment and freelancing, and fell into depression from the uncertainty of my future.
I didn’t go to a hospital or get treatment—it was more like a lack of brightness or energy in daily life.
Still, to others, I probably seemed “kind of depressed,” which made me someone people avoided.
That gap made my depression worse. During this dark time, words that resonated came to me.
It was Mitsuo Aida’s poem “Ningen da mono
”.
After that, I devoured Mitsuo Aida’s poetry collections, and they became a support for my heart in tough times or spare moments.
Now, past 30, my future’s still not stable, but I live with a bit of hope.
I’m not reckless, but I’ve started thinking “things will work out” and staying optimistic. That mindset has made daily life much easier.
Even without solving everything, just changing how I think helps things improve.
Deep down, I want to stabilize my parents’ and sister’s situation and my income, but those aren’t resolving.
I realized dwelling on it too seriously gets me nowhere. I don’t put much stock in social security or think too hard about my retirement.
Of course, I’m exploring ways to secure income, like stocks or FX, things I can keep doing even if my health declines with age.
These actions help me push away future anxieties. Doing what I can keeps my mental state steady and healthy, I believe.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.