Family makeup: Mom, me, younger brother
My parents divorced when I was in elementary school. After that, Mom blamed me daily, saying the divorce was my fault. Relatives piled on, calling me an unwanted child.
Feeling pushed to my limit, I repeatedly acted out in ways that landed me in the hospital by ambulance. I also dealt with unexplained health issues, leading to a referral to a psychiatrist and medication. But the root problem stayed unsolved, and even after entering the workforce, symptoms flared up sometimes, leaving me unable to work properly or even stand at times.
In those days, every phone ring made me jump. Amid that, one person truly understood me. While others pushed with “toughen up” or “stop whining,” this person said, “It’s okay to rest slowly.”
I’d been stressing about rushing back to work or feeling worthless, which only worsened things. They taught me the value of resting and leaning on others.
Most of all, they made me feel needed.
Being called unwanted still haunts me, stirring urges to harm myself when I remember. Yet, having something and someone to hold me back has been a huge lifeline.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.