“You Won’t Die If Your Room’s a Mess”

When I was diagnosed with depression, I was a manager pushing big reforms at work. I didn’t understand what “depression” was and never thought I’d get that kind of illness.

One day, I got to the station for work, and suddenly my legs wouldn’t move. “Am I just off today?” I thought maybe I had a cold or was under the weather.

I rested on a nearby bench and told the company I’d be late because I felt bad. But even after an hour, I couldn’t move.

My commute was two hours, but I ended up going home that day.

For a few days, I managed to work normally, but people around me suggested seeing a psychiatrist.

The psych clinic was part of a regular hospital, so I went in casually. The doctor’s words shocked me: “Take a break from work now! Your depression’s so bad you could collapse any moment!”

I had tons of projects and no time to rest, but I handed things over and went on leave.

During my leave, I kept thinking, “I’ve got to get back soon!” Work stayed on my mind.

I think that stress kept me from resting properly. But now, I hold onto one truth:

“The company will keep going without me.”

People who get depression are probably hardworking, full of justice, and proud of their work.

But thinking “only I can do this” is dangerous. Your body’s screaming, “I can’t take any more.”

“Know your limits.” That’s what I want to tell anyone pushing too hard.

I also noticed I couldn’t do simple daily tasks. Like cleaning my room. It was a total mess, and I hated myself for it.

Then, my doctor’s words saved me.

“You won’t die if your room’s a mess.”

He said it with a smile, and my heart felt lighter. I’m so grateful.

Sadly, the company that made me sick went bankrupt. I lost my place to return to and tried changing jobs multiple times, but it didn’t work out.

I’m still on meds and don’t have a steady job.

If I’d gotten treatment early and rested properly, I don’t think I’d be struggling with depression this long.

Life is long. Don’t rush. Take it slow and easy.

※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.