I’m a 27-year-old freelancer now, and I’ve improved to the point of living without any psychiatric meds.
I graduated from grad school but got a job at a retail company at 24. Due to physical limits or not fitting in, I fell into a depressive state within a year, and a few months before taking leave, I was wandering, consumed by dark thoughts.
I went on leave about a year after joining. The trigger was casually posting on a certain forum after getting everything “ready.”
That post, in a way, kept me going. I sometimes think, “That was a close call,” but for now, I’m definitely alive.
The first hospital I went to was after a transfer, far from my family. During my leave, my savings dwindled, and I was really struggling financially.
Watching the anime *Humanity Has Declined* and hearing “You’ll starve to death!” made me think, “That doesn’t sound bad,” and I started skipping meals, giving up on rational thinking.
Then I moved to a relative’s apartment and started going to a local clinic.
Before and after the move, the doctors’ prescriptions and approaches were clearly different. Before, I sometimes chose my own meds, though not excessively. After the move, treatment focused on reducing meds based on my physical and mental state.
Post-move, I was prescribed SSRIs, and they actually helped my symptoms. It seems my depression was affecting brain chemical levels.
After starting the new treatment, I focused on not overdoing it. I played brain-engaging games that required notes or organizing info, living without pushing too hard.
If I thought, “I can probably do that,” I’d try it to get a sense of “I did it.” Bit by bit, I started reclaiming possibilities I’d dismissed.
I kept that lifestyle going until my 18-month disability benefits ran out, and I got the okay to switch to unemployment benefits.
Since earlier this year, I’ve been able to take on light part-time work.
Active tasks like sales still cause heart palpitations or headaches, so I’m working night security shifts with minimal human contact. It feels just right for me now.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.