I love reading the “Life Advice” column in the Yomiuri Shimbun, and I always look forward to it. The response to a reader’s question in the January 10th issue really struck a chord with me, so I decided to write about it as part of my depression column.
The person who wrote in was suffering from depression and was struggling with the fear that their condition was causing trouble for the people around them at work.
It’s almost inevitable that someone with depression would think this way. Even when ill, they often prioritize the needs of others over their own.
The response came from a psychiatrist, who began with this advice:
“In short, don’t rush things and give it time. There’s no need to consider quitting your job. Depression is a condition that can heal one day, and you’ll return to your bright, true self.”
This part wasn’t particularly unique—just standard advice. But what really resonated with me was what followed:
“The understanding you’re receiving from those around you is not a coincidence.” It’s likely because your genuine qualities and “likable personality” naturally shine through to others.
My wife struggles with bipolar II disorder, and even now, she faces challenges. But both of our families, including our parents, are either understanding of depression or make an effort to be.
I used to think this was just because they’re family or close friends, but this response made me realize that’s not the whole story.
On the flip side, if someone is surrounded by people who don’t understand depression, could it be tied to their personality? That’s possible, but if a third party sees you as having a “likable personality,” there are bound to be people who will support you or try to understand when you’re struggling with depression.
As my wife’s spouse, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me deep down that feels “I can’t abandon her.” But the reason we haven’t divorced is because I truly love her personality and qualities. That’s why I even created a website like this to better understand depression, something I initially knew little about.
※本記事は個人のうつ病体験談です。体験内容はあくまで個人の体験であり、医療アドバイスではありません。専門的なアドバイスを希望する場合は医師へ相談を。
※This article is a personal depression story. The content is solely based on personal experience and is not medical advice. Consult a doctor for professional advice.